“I don’t think marriage defines love or that you need to be married to prove your love.” – David
I have some people in my life who tell me this love and couples stuff is not for them. Hearing different perspectives on love and relationships gives me a better understanding of who we are and who I am. During this journey it’s important, to me, to give people permission to trust their own process and understanding of how to love themselves and others wholeheartedly. We don’t have to be married to understand love. My friend David gives his viewpoint on his contentment of being single and his thoughts about relationships. I appreciate his honesty and willingness to share his thoughts with me. Please enjoy.
Woo Forever: Love is?
David: Love is the people you surround yourself with.
Woo Forever: What is your relationship status?
David: I am single and not actively seeking out a relationship, if it happens it happens. I don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy. I’m happy with who I am. I love having my alone time, coming home from work and recharging. I know lots of people who don’t want to be single but I’m okay with it.
Woo Forever: Explain the peace you have as a single person?
David: It’s a feeling. In 10 years I may change. I am complete and don’t need someone to make me happy. What I’ve noticed though, is a shift in the gay community. Now that marriage has been legalized I feel the community has changed and more people are looking for a partner to settle down with, which has been interesting to watch.
Woo Forever: What’s important to you in a relationship?
David: My independence is important. I want to do what I want and not have to worry about being held down. I can see myself settling down without a title but my partner knows his role in my life.
I’m at the stage now where everyone is getting married and having babies. It makes me wonder what’s next for me. I question if I should go ahead and have kids, I don’t need to be married to do that.
“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love someone else?”- RuPaul (This is one of David’s favorite quotes)
Woo Forever: What inspires you about your parent’s relationship?
David: We don’t show a lot of emotions in my family so showing it is weird. I do like that my parents motivate each other and very supportive of each other. My parents are traditional and take care of each other. My mom still irons my dad’s shirts. I’d prefer that my partner iron his own clothes.
Woo Forever: What have you learned most about yourself in relation to others?
David: I’m not a good communicator. I shut down. I go in my shell and am very guarded. I don’t wear my heart on my sleeves. I can cuss someone out with no problem though.
Woo Forever: What value do you offer in relationships with others?
David: I can keep others confidence. I am a good listener, which has turned into being a therapist for my friends. I will be honest and say what they may not want to hear, tough love.
Woo Forever: A relationship is?
David: When you want to be around the other person constantly. I think there is a difference in a strong relationships and being in love.
Woo Forever: What questions would you want to ask couples?
David: Are you actually happy?
Are you really in love or are you making it work?
How did you know that person was the one? Why that person?
I’m not against people being in relationships I just wonder if they are settling.
Woo Forever: Where do you see yourself in five years?
David: I don’t want to be like the crazy cat lady. Being happy, maybe with a child.
Woo Forever: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
David: Perhaps a kid or two.
Woo Forever: What would you say to your younger self about love and relationships?
David: Be a little more open.
Woo Forever: Final thoughts about love and relationships.
David: Do you. Understand who you are and be happy with it. Deal with your stuff before getting into the next relationship.
No matter what stage in our lives we are in, love is ever present. Like David said, it is the people we surround ourselves with. As he continues his journey, I wish him a host of friends that will continue to love up on him and that he can love back; a partner that will take care of that beautiful guarded heart of his, when he’s ready, of course. Love is surrounded by sweetness. Woo Forever.